What the hell is wrong with me?
I'm not who I want to be
I tried spot cream an' I tried it all I'm crawling up the wall!
What's my name naaaame...naaaame....naaaame....
I tried to join a ping-pong club,
Sign on the door said all full up!
I got nicked, fighting in the road
An' the judge didn't even know
What's my name
Dad got pissed so I got clocked
Couldn't hear the Tannoy so he lost the lot
Offers Mum a bribe through the letter box
Drives you fucking mad
What's my name
Now I'm round the back of your house at night
Peeping in the window - are you sleeping tight?
I laugh at your locks with my celloid strip
An' you won't know who came
What's my name