The Jazz Discharge Party Hats Lyrics by Frank Zappa

The Jazz Discharge Party Hats Lyrics

    Frank zappa (guitar, vocals, drum machine)
    Steve vai (guitar, acoustic guitar)
    Ray white (guitar, vocals)
    Roy estrada (vocals)
    Bob harris (boy soprano)
    Ike willis (vocals)
    Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
    Tommy mars (keyboards)
    Arthur barrow (keyboards, bass, micro bass, rhythm guitar)
    Ed mann (percussion)
    Scott thunes (bass)
    Chad wackerman (drums)
    Vinnie colaiuta (drums)
    Craig steward (harmonica)
    Dick fegy (mandolin)
    Marty krystall (saxophone)

    Once upon a time
    It was in albuquerque, new mexico
    There were these girls that worked at the college
    The were really cool...
    (they thought so anyway)
    The would be delighted to tell you how suave they where
    At the drop of a hat

    There was three of 'em:
    One of them thought she was a beauty queen...
    The other one was a walking blow-job
    And then there was this skinny girl...

    Oh well...
    Some of the guys in the band got together
    With the girls from the college
    They were having a good time...
    (we were in alburquerque for a couple of days)
    But these girls thought they were hot shit
    'n wouldn't pooch the guys in the band
    On the first day, so...
    A couple of the guys in the band
    Who were desparate for that kind of action
    Kept workin' on 'em for two days
    (which is a waste of fuckin' time anyway...)
    So, anyway...
    But if that's your idea of a good time, what the hey?

    Send those pants up here!
    Here's some more!
    Okay, good-good!
    Traditional cotton...oh, how sweet!
    Umf...huh-huh-huh-huhhh...
    Here! work these!

    Anyway...
    We're in albuquerque, new mexico...
    A couple of the guys in the band, who shall go nameless
    Because their girlfriends might find out
    Decided they were gonna work the wall on these girls
    From the college
    So, one night...it was the first night
    When they were still trying to 'get it in there'
    (ya know what i mean? huh-huh-huh-huh...)
    The skinny girl, she says to one of the guys in the band
    She says, well, to several of the guys in the band
    And one of the t-shirt guys too...
    "hey! let's go skinny-dipping!"
    At two o'clock in the morning at the pool at the hotel
    That's right, your heard right,
    Two o'clock in the morning, pool at the hotel...
    It was so fun...
    But the water was very, very cold!
    So they go out there and the girl who was really skinny
    'n' probably totally insensitive to climatic changes
    Took all of her garments off and she jumped in the pool
    And she says, "hey guys! come on in!"
    Well, one of them did...
    The other one was too smart for that shit
    So him and the t-shirt guy say by the edge of the pool
    And when the girl who was really skinny
    (and insensitive to climatic changes)
    Took off her clothes and jumped in the pool
    She threw her pants over there by the little table

    Well, one of the guys in the band picked up het panties
    (he told me later the stuff in the bottom
    Was like punching an eclair...)
    Anyhow...there was nothing else to do...
    It was alburquerque, new mexico
    It's two o'clock in the morning...
    They're not going to get any nooky anyway...
    So this one guy and the t-shirt guy
    Started sniffing the girl's panties...
    They were sniffing the fudge and sniffing the glue...
    Sniffing every 'thing' that adhered to these
    Delightful little morsels
    (some of you might think this is weird...
    No wonder. it's not exactly normal, but
    What the fuck?)
    So, they're snorting it...
    (hey! it's the twentieth century...
    Whatever you can do to have a good time, let's get on with it,
    So long as it doesn't cause a murder...)

    So they're snorting the pants
    'n' then they put them on their heads...
    They were having a good time...
    The girl was in the water...she didn't even see
    What was going on with her underpants...
    They were wearing the pants
    It looked just like a tiny little party hat...
    Their ears were sticking out the side...it was so fun
    Later on they discovered,
    This would make a great way of life for them...
    They would go from town to town, looking for panties
    They would take the panties after they were hung up
    On the clothes line
    Later on they would take 'em back in the dressing room
    They would play with them...
    They would fetish the underpants...
    They would snort every little morsel attached
    To the underpants...and then...they would feel that
    They were fulfilled

    And so you can see,
    That what we're doing here on stage
    Is part of a great american tradition
    The tradition of the
    Jazz discharge party hats

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