The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary Lyrics by Frank Zappa

The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary Lyrics

    Frank zappa (guitar, vocals)
    George duke (keyboards, vocals)
    Bruce fowler (trombone)
    Tom fowler (bass)
    Chester thompson (drums)

    The adventures of greggery peccary!

    Oh, here comes greggery,
    Little grecgery peccary
    The nocturnal gregarious
    Wild swine

    A peccary
    Is a little pig
    With a white collar
    That usually hangs around
    Between texas and paraguay
    Sometimes ranging as far
    West as catalina

    Catalina, catalina, catalina!

    This particular peccary
    Is part of that bold (bold),
    New (new) breed (breeding)
    That extinguishes itself
    By markings which resemble a
    Wide tie
    Directly below the
    White collar

    If it's white enough
    Everyone will know
    That the tie i'm wearing
    Is a symbol
    Of how nimble mv mind will know
    Ooh-ooh!

    (swine suave!)

    Look out!
    Here he comes again!

    Oh here comes greggery peccary.
    Yes it's cravv, cravy, veah...

    Every morning, greggery drives
    His little red volkswagen to the ugly
    Part of town where they keep the government buildings.

    Voodn, voodn!
    Boy it's so hard to find a place to park around here!
    Greggery peccary takes the elevator
    Up to the eighty-third floor of a grim,
    Gray, evil-looking building
    With a sign on the front reading:
    'big swifty associates. trend-mongers'.

    And what, might you ask, is a trend monger?
    Well, a trend monger is a person
    Who dreams up a trend
    (like 'the twist' --- or 'flower power'),
    And spreads it throughout the land,
    Using all the frightening little skills
    That science has made available!

    And so it was, one fateful morning,
    Greggery peccary made his way through the steno pool . . .

    Hi mildred!
    Hello gladys!
    Wanda!

    Yes, from the moment they laid
    Eyes on him,
    All the girls in the big swifty
    Steno pool
    Knew . . .
    Here was a
    Nocturnal,
    Gregarious
    Wild swine
    On his way up!
    A peccary of destiny,
    Adventure
    And
    Romance!

    Is there any mail for me?

    Swifty's!
    This is big swifty's!
    At big swifty's we all know-ow-ow
    You'll go
    For any gimmick or gizmo!

    Wouldn't you rather be involved
    In a series of colorful
    Time-wastinc trends?

    Air hockey . . . biff . . . dush-h-h!

    La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, youp youp youp youp

    Is your wife snoring by the sink?

    La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, youp youp youp youp

    Ain't your life boring, don'tcha think?

    Youp youp youp youp youp youp youp
    Life is so much better
    When there's some little something
    To do!

    Does it matter that this waste of time
    Is what makes a life for you? hmmmmm?

    I must plummet boldly
    Forward
    To my ultra-avant
    Laminated,
    Simulated
    Replica-mahogany desk,
    With the strategically-placed,
    Imported, very hip water pipe,
    And the latest edition of the
    Whole earth catalog,
    And rack my agile mind
    For a spectacular
    New trend,
    Thereby rejuvenating our limping
    Economy,
    And providing
    For bored & miserable people
    Everywhere
    Some great new
    'thing'
    To identify with.!

    We have got the little answers
    To the things
    That might` be bothering you!

    We have got your little toys!
    (we're busy makin' 'em!)

    Busy makin' 'em,
    We're busy makin' 'em,
    Busy makin' 'em
    Just for you!

    Yoo-hoo-hoo!
    Very efficient. miss snodgrass!

    And with that.
    Gregcery turned
    And strode nonchalantly
    Into his dinky little office
    With the desk and the catalog
    And the very hip water pipe.
    And proceeded,
    With a vigor and determination
    Known only to piglets
    Of a similarly diminutive
    Proportion,
    To single-handedly invent
    The calendar!
    With his eye rolled heaven-ward.
    And his little shiny pig-hoofs on the
    Desk, greggery ponders the
    Question of eternity (and fractional
    Divisions thereof), as mysterious
    Angelic voices sing to him from a
    Great distance, providing the
    Necessary clues for the construction of
    This thrilling new trend!

    Sunday

    Sunday?
    Wow!
    Sunday,
    'monday

    Sunday,

    Saturday. . .tuesday through
    - monday'!

    Saturday. . .

    And thus the calendar,
    In all of its colorful disguises
    Was presented to
    The bored & miserable people
    Everywhere!

    Gregcery issued a memo on it.
    Whereupon the entire contents
    Of the steno pool
    Identified with it strenuously,
    And worshipped it as a way of life,
    And took their little pills by it.
    And went back 'n forth from
    Work by it.
    And paid their rent by it,
    And before long they were even
    Having
    Birthday parties in the office
    By it,
    Because now. at last,
    Crecgery peccary's exciting new

    Invention
    Had made it possible
    For everyone
    To find out
    How old they were!

    What hath god wrought?

    Unfortunately,
    There were some people
    Who simply did not wish to
    Know,
    And that's why,
    On his way home from the office
    One night,
    Greggery was attacked
    By a rage of hunchmen!
    Making his way through the
    Evening traffic, greggery notices
    That the other vehicles which
    Crowd and bump his little red car
    Are all inhabited by slowly-aging
    'very hip young people',
    They appear to be casting
    Sinister glances toward him
    Through their glinting acid burn-
    Out eyeballs, trying to run him
    Off the road, or make him bump into
    Something, giving strong evidence
    Of hostile aggression!

    To elude them, greggery takes the
    Short forest exit off the express-
    Way. they zoom after him in all
    Manner of cars. trucks,
    Garishly-painted buses, and
    Motorcycles.

    Greggery takes a bumpy trail
    Off the main short forest road,
    Which leads him up the side
    Of a famous (and convenientlv
    Placed) mountain, and into a strange
    Cave on the edge of a cliff, not far
    From a little twisted tree. . .with
    Eyes on it.

    Meanwhile, the enraged hunchmen
    (and hunch-'women) rumble
    Through the short forest until
    (realizing the little swine has
    Escaped, they decide to park their
    Steaming vehicles in a circular
    Pseudo-wagon train formation. . .

    And have a love-in!

    Under the influence of a fantastic
    Amount of trendy chemical amusement
    Aid, they proceed to perform lewd
    Acts, rip each other off for small
    Personal possessions, and dance
    With depraved abandon in the vicinity
    Of a six-foot pile of transistor radios
    Each one tuned to a different station).

    What?

    The hunchmen finally expire
    From exhaustion,
    And greggery,
    Who has viewed the proceedings
    From a safe distance,
    Breathes a sigh of relief. . .

    Phew!
    Only to be terrified once again
    By a roar of immense laughter. . .

    Ho! ho! ho!

    Which seems to be rumbling up
    From the very depths of the cave
    In which he has hidden his car!

    (good lord! what was that!?)

    Grecgery doesn't realize
    He has concealed himself
    Inside the very mouth of
    Billy the mountain!

    Ho! ho! ho!

    And, as you all know,
    Whenever billy laughs,
    Rocks and boulders hack up,
    And the air for miles around
    Is filled with tons of dust,
    Forming a series of huge
    Brown clouds!

    Who is making those new brown clouds?
    Who is making those clouds these days?
    Ho is making those new brown clouds?
    Better ask a philostopher 'n see what he says!

    Greggery stops at a gas station
    And makes a mysterious phone

    Is this the old loft
    With the paint peelin' off it
    By the chinese police
    Here the dogs roll by?

    Is this here they keep
    The philostophers now,
    With the rugs & the dust,
    Where the books go to die?

    How many yez got?
    Say yez got quite a few,
    Just sittin' around there
    With nothin' to do?

    Well i just called yez up
    'cause i wanted to see
    A pilostoper be of assistance
    To me!
    Gregcery receives information
    That
    'the greatest livin philostopher
    Knon to mankind'
    Is currently in possession of the
    Very information
    In question,
    And, furthermore, this information
    Could be his,
    If only greggery would attend a
    'special therapeutic group
    Assembly'
    (classes now forming),
    And available at a special
    Low introductory fee. . .
    And now, here he is,
    'the greatest living philosto-
    Pher known to mankind',
    Quentin robert denameland!
    Take it away!

    "folks,
    As vou can see for yourself.
    The way this clock over here
    Is behaving,
    Time is of affliction!
    Now this might be cause for alarm
    Among a portion of you, as,
    From a certain experience,
    I tend to proclaim:
    'the eons are closing'!"

    Make your checks payable to

    -25.8-

    'quentin robert denameland,
    Greatest livin philostopher
    Known to mankind'!

    Who is making those new brown clouds?
    Who is making those clouds these days?
    Who is making those new brown clouds?
    If you ask a pilostopher, he'll see
    That you pays!

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