Jamies Petting Zoo Lyrics by Guttermouth

Jamies Petting Zoo Lyrics

    I've had my pet
    Since i was nine years old
    I loved him and fed him
    But one day he attacked
    I knew he didn't love me back
    So i grabbed him like a football
    And punted fifty yards

    Now i hate pets
    Take yourself to the vet
    Now i hate pets
    Dolphins trapped in little nets
    Now i hate pets
    You little fucking
    Screaming shit-bag
    I should of let your mother
    Eat you, little fucker

    So i got a little birdy
    And i trained it everyday
    He knew 1000 words
    But then he flew away
    But then i got him back
    The fucker wouldn't shut his trap
    So i took him to the bathroom
    And rubbed his beak in shit

    Now i hate pets
    Spotted owls in their nests
    Now i hate pets
    Bagged a deer and made a vest
    Now i hate pets
    Birds and bees and bears and bison
    Pigs and parrots and pandas
    I fucking hate them all!!!

    I was walking through the park
    When a snake peered from his hole
    A perfect opportunity
    To take the bastard home
    I chopped his fucking head off
    With my handy garden hoe
    And made a lovely hat-band
    For my redneck cousin bo, heee-haaw!

    Now i hate pets
    10,000 volts to the chest
    Now i hate pets
    Fed my cat some cigarettes
    Now i hate pets
    You little fucking
    Screaming shit-bag
    Bastard
    Fuck you, you
    Fucking pig-shit licker, fuck!!!!!!

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