Criminal Lyrics by Eminem

Criminal Lyrics

    A lot of people ask me.. stupid fuckin questions
    A lot of people think that.. what I say on records
    or what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life
    or that I believe in it
    Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that..
    I'm actually gonna do it
    or that I believe in it
    Well, shit.. if you believe that
    then I'll kill you
    You know why?
    Cuz I'm a
    CRIMINAL
    CRIMINAL
    You god damn right
    I'm a CRIMINAL
    Yeah, I'm a CRIMINAL
    [Eminem]
    My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
    That'll stab you in the head
    whether you're a fag or lez
    Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
    Pants or dress - hate fags? The answer's "yes"
    Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
    Starin at my jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin (Ooh!)
    That's my motherfuckin balls, you'd better let go of em
    They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of em
    Hey, it's me, Versace
    Whoops, somebody shot me!
    And I was just checkin the mail
    Get it? Checkin the 'male'?
    How many records you expectin to sell
    after your second LP sends you directly to jail?
    C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay men
    Right, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!)
    Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
    Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
    Oh, and please send me a brand new car
    And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
    Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher
    You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
    You can't teach me a goddamn thing cause
    I watch TV, and Comcast cable
    and you ain't able to stop these thoughts
    You can't stop me from toppin these charts
    And you can't stop me from droppin each March
    with a brand new cd for these fuckin retards
    Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
    Mr. "Don't Give A Fuck," still won't leave
    Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)
    I'm a CRIMINAL
    Cuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
    to tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
    but I don't gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird
    and keep goin, I don't take shit from no one
    [Eminem]
    My mother did drugs - tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speed
    The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed
    It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
    Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me
    I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned crazed
    But how the fuck you sposed to grow up when you weren't raised?
    So as I got older and I got a lot taller
    My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
    I drink malt liquor to fuck you up quicker
    than you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin the word ...
    My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oral
    Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
    Off of his own employee
    Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me
    You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired
    and my nose is pointy
    I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
    in plane crashes and laughs
    As long as it ain't happened to him
    Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em
    -inem and Kim combined - *kch* the maniac's in
    Replacin the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it today
    He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin his place
    (Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
    Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
    I told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away
    I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?
    I'm a CRIMINAL
    [Interlude Skit]
    Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that motherfucker
    get the motherfuckin money and get the fuck up outta there
    [Em] Aight
    I'll be right here waitin on you
    [Em] Aight
    Yo Em
    [Em] What?!
    Don't kill nobody this time
    [Em] Awwright... god damn, fuck...
    (whistling) how you doin'?
    [Teller] HI, how can I help you?
    [Eminem] Yeah I need to make a withdrawl
    [Teller] Okay
    [Eminem] Put the fuckin money in the bag bitch
    and I won't kill you!
    [Teller] What? Oh my god, don't kill me
    [Eminem] I'm not gonna kill you bitch, quit lookin around...
    [Teller] Don't kill me, please don't kill me...
    [Eminem] I said I'm not gonna fuckin kill you
    Hurry the fuck up! {*BOOM*} Thank you!
    [Eminem]
    Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
    So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it
    So I'll be disguised in it
    And if anybody identifies the guy in it
    I'll hide for five minutes
    Come back, shoot the eyewitness
    Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
    Die, bitches, bastards, brats, pets
    This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet
    If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts
    tuck my dick inbetween my legs and cluck
    You motherfuckin chickens ain't brave enough
    to say the stuff I say, so this tape is shut
    Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up
    To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass
    And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
    I'ma be a fuckin rapist in a Jason mask
    (Chorus 2X)

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