[ll cool j]
Yeah..
Yeah i like that guitar man, yeah
Yo e-love i like the way you flipped that guitar man
Knahmsayin? it was a good idea man, knahmsayin? yeah
It's kinda like freakin me, yaknahmsayin?
I wanna get hype man, i wanna do this, yaknahmsayin?
Just gon' chill, check it out
Slick as vasoline, smell good as cologne
I'm like a muscle man in jail -- they leave me alone
I rhyme like superman, you rap like jimmy olson
I break you like a bottle of green golden molson
You ain't a real rhymer, you look like a actress
How you gon' sleep on me holmes, do i look like a mattress?
Am i that old, do i walk like grady?
I'ma hundred-fifty proof, smirnoff is only 80
Don't you ever try to rock my house
I'm a real cool cat, know what i'm sayin mickey mouse?
The poetry specialist, so take a dose of this
Now think about it -- can you really come close to this?
You soft as powder, weak as a cabin cooler
Ugly as work shoes, messin with the ruler:
The ultimate writer reciter and def entertainer
I work myself harder than a boxer's trainer
Chorus: ll cool j
Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)
And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)
Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)
And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)
I said, clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)
And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)
Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)
And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)
[ll cool j]
You end up, underneath my sneaker
You're dog doo-doo, i'm watchin you get weaker
You can't believe, the skill and dexterity
Ll cool j, and the j is for jeremy
So buff me, james todd the earthquaker
That's right my brother, you're goin out like sega
{*censored*} chewed, so whassup dude?
One of my battles'll get your girlies in the mood
Sucker mc's really make me sick
I'm so bad, i can suck my own {dick}
If you go to your girl's house and i'm there already
Don't go crazy cause my name ain't eddie
Rhymes so rough, it's like a course in trigonometry
When einstein was talkin, he was talkin bout me
The prince of the earth, and i'ma give birth
To a rhyme so hard you look soft as a smurf
Gigglin and wigglin, so how we goin out?
Lovely, and that's without a doubt!
Chorus 3/4x
[ll cool j]
Rappers are my servants, they serve me like an emperor
When i'm through, you'll need a nurse to take your temperature
And cool you down, cause you're cold as leftovers
Not the ones on the table, i'm talkin about ruff rovers
You can't get over -- what's my name, goofy?
You smoke i'm no joke, so my brother break out the looseys
And take a pull, cause the buck stops here
I get swift as a magician, wreck {shit} and dissapear
Don't cross me, or lose your loyalty
To the prince of the rap court, i'm royalty
And it ain't no puzzle, it's a shame how rappers guzzle
Paragraphs i put together so i carry a muzzle
To shut em up and cut em up and make em be quiet
I'm a one man riot, so don't even try it
The prince of special tactics, plus i'm athletic
Before you play your hand you better do some calisthetics
Jumpin jacks, squats, push-ups, the whole nine
Speak your piece, then i'ma go for mine
And i guarantee you, i'm gonna strike again
I recommend my friend you drop the pen and give in
Cop out to one rhyme cause you're facin ten
I ain't sidney poitier but we can 'do this again'
I'm nice wit mines, and i gotta admit it
You don't really wanna battle, why don'tcha just forget it!
Chorus 1/2
[ll cool j]
But if you're hard headed and you still don't understand
Here's a little sample -- ehm ehm, my man
*brrrrrrring* "hello?"
{*cut n scratch "cool j"*}
".. takes everything you've got" -> cheers (theme song)
{*cut n scratch "pushin a broom"*}
".. sure would help a lot" -> cheers (theme song)
[ll cool j]
Check my stats, how we livin, i thought so
I'm fresh, oh yes, but can they flow, hell no
My rhymes are up to date, excellent, on point
I'm tellin you, they're the serious joint
I eat my steak fast, i drink my brew slow
My voice is milky with a nice clear flow
I eat like a fat man, and walk like a gigolo
I'm not a ballplayer, so now y'know!
Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)
And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)
Cause i rock the house, everybody (aiyyo)
And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)
Knowhati'msayin? and i'ma be straight til the year 3000
That's word to mother, knahmsayin?
And i say mother with a v cause the v is for victory yaknahmsayin?
Cause i'm the victor in this game, word up
Knahmsayin? that's what time it is, peace
{*crew applause*}
That man, he sure is funky funky funky
Funky! funky, he sho' is!
You best believe he's funky!
You didn't know??? funky!