Chip On My Shoulder Lyrics by Legally Blonde the Musical

Chip On My Shoulder Lyrics


    EMMETT
    (spoken) Whoa, Elle? What's up, Doc?

    ELLE
    Love

    EMMETT
    (spoken) Excuse me?

    ELLE
    I put my faith in love
    I followed where it led

    EMMETT
    (spoken) Love led you here?

    ELLE
    To my personal circle of Hell
    It has not worked out well
    I wish that I were dead

    Cause instead of a wedding in love
    I'm flunking out of school
    A total laughing stock
    Someone he and his friends could just mock
    So go on, here's my head
    Just hand over the rock!

    EMMETT
    (spoken) Wait, go back!

    (sung) You came out here to follow a man
    Harvard law was just part of that plan
    Man, what rich romantic planet are you from?

    ELLE
    (spoken) Malibu?

    EMMETT
    Instead of lying outside by the pool
    You stalk some guy to an ivy league school?
    That's the weirdest reason I have--

    ELLE
    (spoken) Oh, why'd you come?

    EMMETT
    (spoken) Okay

    (sung) I grew up in the Roxbury slums
    With my mom and a series of bums
    Guys who showed me all the ways a man can fail

    I got through law school by busting my ass
    Worked two jobs in addition to class
    So forgive me for not weeping at your tale

    ELLE
    (spoken) Well excuse me,
    just because you've got some kind of chip on your shoulder . . .

    EMMETT
    (spoken) You know what? You're right.

    (sung) There's a chip on my shoulder
    And it's big as a boulder
    With the chance I've been given
    I'm gonna be driven as hell

    I'm so close I can taste it
    So I'm not gonna waste it
    Yeah, there's a chip on my shoulder
    You might wanna get one as well

    ELLE
    (spoken) I'm sorry, but that sounds highly negative. Wait!
    Two jobs PLUS law school?! How do you do it?

    EMMETT
    Well, I don't go to parties a lot
    Not good use of the time that I've got
    Can't spend hours doing my hair and staying in shape

    ELLE
    (spoken) I don't spend hours!

    EMMETT
    But I know it'll all be worthwhile
    When I win my first lucrative trial
    And buy my mom that great big house out on the cape!

    ELLE
    (spoken) Oh, that's so sweet!

    EMMETT
    No! That's the chip on my shoulder
    I hugged my mom and told her
    With the chance I've been given
    I'm gonna be driven as hell

    Though I can't take the day off
    I just think of the payoff
    You need a chip on your shoulder
    Little Miss Woods comma Elle

    ELLE
    (spoken) I just need to prove to everyone that I'm serious!

    EMMETT
    (spoken) What you need is to get to work! Where are your law books?

    ELLE
    (spoken) Ummm . . . Well, I know they're here somewhere . . .

    EMMETT
    Ya know, this vanity's real picturesque
    But it started its life as a desk
    Clear it off, and find some room for books instead

    ELLE
    (spoken) What are you doing?!

    EMMETT
    Can you live without this?
    Can you live without that?
    I don't know what this is

    ELLE
    (spoken) It's for hair!

    EMMETT
    Wear a hat!
    Spend some time improving what's inside your head!

    Out, out, put it in storage, sell it on eBay, leave it behind
    Out, out, what, are you angry?
    Good, so get angry! You may find
    The chip on your shoulder

    ELLE
    (spoken) ARGH!

    EMMETT
    The room just got colder

    ELLE
    (spoken) Hey!

    EMMETT
    But with the chance you've been given
    Why are you not driven as hell?!
    There's just no way around it
    You gotta plow through til you've

    ELLE
    (spoken) Found it!

    EMMETT
    Been reading it hard, I can tell . . .

    GIRLS
    Tis a gift to be simple
    Tis a gift to be free
    Hmm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm

    ELLE
    (spoken) Bye, Warner! Have a great Thanksgiving!
    Say hi to your mom and dad for me! And Grandma Bootsie!

    EMMETT
    (spoken) Define malum prohibitum.

    ELLE
    (spoken) Malum prohibitum is, ummm . . .

    EMMETT
    (spoken) An act prohibited--

    ELLE
    (spoken) An act prohibited by law like jaywalking or chewing gum in Singapore.

    EMMETT
    (spoken) Therefore malum ensae?

    ELLE
    (spoken) Is an action. That is evil in itself.
    Assualt, murder, white shoes after labor day.

    EMMETT
    (spoken) Good. Where are you going?

    ELLE
    (spoken) Home, of course! It's Thanksgiving break, remember?

    EMMETT
    (spoken) Interesting.

    ELLE
    (spoken) What?

    EMMETT
    Well, I predict you will probably pass

    ELLE
    (spoken) Yes!

    EMMETT
    In the bottom percent of your class

    ELLE
    (spoken) What?

    EMMETT
    If you're going for mediocre, you've done great!

    ELLE
    (spoken) That's not fair!

    EMMETT
    Look, they laughed at me like they're laughing at you
    We can't win if we don't follow through!
    Might I venture your vacation plans can wait?

    ELLE
    (spoken) Why do you always have to be right?

    GIRLS
    Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ria! (Latin chanting)

    ELLE
    (spoken) Bye, Warner! Merry Christmas! Enjoy Bayo!

    EMMETT
    (spoken) Ho-ho-ho!

    ELLE
    (spoken) Emmett!

    EMMETT
    (spoken) For you! Not as good as going home for Christmas, but . . .

    ELLE
    (spoken) You are too sweet.

    EMMETT
    (spoken) It's a real time saver. Shampoo and conditioner in one!

    ELLE
    (spoken) Ah! (giggles) Thank you. You are so adorable to think of me.

    WARNER
    (spoken) Elle, hey!

    ELLE
    (spoken) Warner!

    WARNER
    (spoken) Have you seen Vivienne? I've been looking for her everywhere!

    ELLE
    (spoken) Yeah . . . I-I mean no.

    WARNER
    (spoken) Great! We're gonna miss our flight!

    EMMETT
    (spoken)Um, Elle?

    (sung)I don't know if you've noticed before
    But each time Warner walks in the door
    Your IQ goes down to 40, maybe less

    ELLE
    (spoken) Huh?

    EMMETT
    Though it's hardly my business to say
    Could it be the real thing in your way
    Is the very guy you're trying to impress

    ELLE
    Yes! I've been smiling and sweet and thoroughly beaten blowing my chance
    Let's not chase him away
    Let's face him and say
    "Hey punk, let's dance!"

    This chip on my shoulder
    Makes me smarter and bolder
    No more whining or blaming
    I am reclaiming my pride

    Grab that book and let's do this
    Instead of doodling hearts all through this
    Now there's a chip on my shoulder!
    Let's see him knock it aside!

    GIRLS
    Ah-ah-ah-ah Daughter of Delta Nu
    Show him that you're no fool
    Daughter of Delta Nu
    Go back to school with a big chip on your shoulder!

    WARNER
    (spoken) Mr. Ladimer was clearly within his rights to ask for visitation.
    Without his sperm, the child in question wouldn't exist!

    CALLAHAN
    (spoken) Now you're thinking like a lawyer!
    Yes, Miss Woods.

    ELLE
    (spoken) Mr. Huntington makes an excellent point,
    but did the defendant keep a log of every sperm emission made throughout his life?

    CALLAHAN
    (spoken) Interesting. Why do you ask?

    ELLE
    (spoken) Well, unless the defendant attempted to contact every sexual encounter
    to find out if a child resulted from those unions,
    he has no parental claim over this child whatsoever.
    Why now? Why this sperm?

    CALLAHAN
    (spoken) I see your point.

    ELLE
    (spoken) And by Mr. Huntington's standards,
    all masturbatory emissions where the sperm was clearly not seeking an egg would
    be called reckless abandonment.

    CALLAHAN
    (spoken) Miss Woods, you just won your case.

    ELLE
    Ohmigod . . .

    GIRLS
    Wait, hold on, we just won the case!

    ELLE
    Omigod . . .

    GIRLS
    Elle got all up in Warner's face

    ELLE
    Omigod . . .

    GIRLS
    I am starting to like this place! Yes! Omigod!

    CALLAHAN
    (spoken) Miss Woods, excellent work today.
    I assume you're applying for my internship. Do you have a resume?

    ELLE
    (spoken) I am one step ahead of you.
    Here you go, and thanks in advance for your consideration.

    CALLAHAN
    (spoken) Dear God, it's scented.
    Three months ago, I would have recycled this. Make sure to put it on file.

    EMMETT
    Guess she got a chip on her shoulder
    Maybe some wise man told her
    With the chance we've been given
    We gotta be driven as hell

    She was something to see there
    I'm just happy I could be there
    First big test and she aced it
    She's so close she can taste it

    She got a chip on her shoulder
    Guess you never can te-e-ell . . .
    With little Miss Woods comma Elle!

    GIRLS
    Elle Woods
    Woods comma Elle
    Chip on her shoulder
    Elle Woods
    Woods comma Elle
    Chip on her shoulder

    EMMETT
    No you never can tell

    GIRLS
    Elle Woods
    Woods comma Elle
    Chip on her shoulder

    ALL
    With little Miss Woods comma Elle

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